not my area (obviously), but this is still an interesting read. heheh!

also, eating slower and in smaller portions like the french helps you live longer and stay slim!

so maybe if you just had (oleh’s lousy) indomie for supper and you’re not yet satisfied, maybe shouldn’t order the burger or the chicken rice. i used to have all 3.

or, you could hop to misais. yum.

after some thinking, i realize why last semester’s studies was so difficult for me; it’s that in spite of all the things i love and enjoy about conducting, i couldn’t accept that it’s ok for people to treat us like crap! even though these precious people are few and far between - critics, musicians, tutors, etc jackasses.

ironically, the friends who are kindest are other conductors who compete with me. i guess they can sympathise.

i’ve been reminded many times that conductors cannot want to be liked, i think i finally understand now. cause regardless of your ability, you will have to face the music (pun). conclusion is, i must learn to savor the position of having people want to oppress us.

so bring it on! but watch your backs after.

today i’ll bring some music out to study in the afternoon, renew my lease for the apartment (boring), and collect a suit jacket which i sent in to have the sleeves shortened; standing in for raymond again on saturday for vyso rehearsal.

justin, a friend studying in sae needs some material for his portfolio so i’m going in the studio next week to track my material. it’s about time isn’t it! have a few new pedals to toy around with so it should be fun. also, looking forward to playing in a duo with kevin/brokenscar here in melboune on aug 2; will keep you posted.

had a chat with mark shiell, one of my conducting mentors, at st petersburg briefly describing what he has learnt in the week-long masterclass. can’t wait for this semester to end, and finally plan for russia.

there’s a massive amount of repertoire to cover next semester: act 2 of mozart’s marriage of figaro for 2 weeks, followed by a brahms and a tchaikovsky symphony each week. i heard that conducting students only focus on 1 movement a week in sibelius akademie so they get it right. hope this won’t be a waste of time..

will make it a point to write something here everyday to jog my brain a little, because having sooo much time to myself can be terribly uninspiring! i need to make the most out of it. (:

my body clock is very upset thanks to the countless nights of euro fever, been sleeping 6am-3pm everyday.. will have to struggle to stay up for my 4 hour ielts test which starts tomorrow morning at 8am.

and what a fool i was to schedule my flight home on the euro final! will probably be spending it watching made of honour in the air next to some child that won’t stop kicking me.

will visit urbanscapes tomorrow to catch a few acts with the few willing music-lovers. hope we reach in time to catch kokokaina, what an intriguing voice!

cel took this photo at universal pizza a few months back (: i miss you.. see you in 2 weeks babe

thanks to many friends who came to bangkok jazz that night! trust you enjoyed yourself listening to the girl with the insane vocals next to me. elvira told me later that it’s one of the best shows she did, i honestly don’t remember hearing better from anyone else..

thanks for being there babe (: first time performing with kat in the crowd. ps if i don’t link ray for the photo he sure merajuk. so thanks lor. hahaha..

thanks yihwen for the picture, and my friends who made it, and the many friends i made there as well (: always great to make music together

wish you were there! ):

<insert pretencious sounding paragraph about conducting and classical music>

<insert thanks for friends and family’s support through difficult few months>

<insert short paragraph about what i learnt from 2nd orchestre nouveau concert (attach photo)>

 <insert brief mention about return home to KL on wednesday for a month, and that i’ll be playing at moonshine (laundry, curve) on 12th june>

<insert obligatory poignant sounding closing>

over studying music in the last few months, i thought to myself that theres seems to be no reason to regret spending the precious years we have alive to study the works of the greatest composers of all time; to analyze, appreciate and communicate in this language of emotion and human will that god has left for us. what a noble and beautiful task.

but during a rehearsal last week, our professor said something that moved me to think a little further. he asked for the musicians to concentrate and commit to each note of the score, cause it’s the final time he will be conducting this particular symphony. he might have meant that it’s the last time he’ll conduct that for the day.. but none the less my idea of music being the symbol of eternal hope and meaning was totally dismantled before me in those few seconds. there’re countless symphonies out there that are begging to be performed over and over again - but we only have that much time to choose to put a little portion of that into realization.

it’s absolutely mindblowing to me, that the contemplation and execution of such transcendant, eternal works of music, are so delicately handled by frail human arms such as ours; and that the composers of these great monumental works that attest the strength of the human spirit, these humble messengers that dictate god’s language of music, have been long gone.

what a thought!

if apart from god, there is the image of utter hopelessness even in the face of what could be the greatest pursuit of man; how thankful should we be of his grace! how elegant is his love in comparison.

this was my msn status for the past two weeks:
“turns out ‘gullible’ isn’t a word in the dictionary! check it!”

29/01/2008 
12:50:14 AM  Benjamin:  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gullible
12:50:20 AM  Benjamin:  and its on microsoft word
12:50:28 AM  yeemeng: hahahahahahhaha
12:50:37 AM  Benjamin:  lamer
12:50:37 AM  yeemeng:  that’s the joke lor.. 
12:50:46 AM  yeemeng:  suckerrrrr heheh
12:50:50 AM  Benjamin:  LAMERRR
12:50:59 AM  yeemeng:  nyahahah! you’re the first one
12:51:10 AM  Benjamin:  where did you even think about it
12:51:21 AM  yeemeng:  it’s in some old family guy episode
12:51:37 AM  Benjamin:  omg
12:51:40 AM  Benjamin:  don’t worry 
12:51:44 AM  Benjamin:  i won’t be the only one
12:51:51 AM  yeemeng:  hehehe i’ll let you know

29/01/2008 
1:15:03 AM  Michael:  har har har. very funny

6/02/2008 
12:24:49 PM  EJ™:  that’s a trick statement isn’t it.

12/02/2008 
11:30:37 PM  yi wei: whoever checks in the dictionary would have been gullible;)

–

sorry benjamin tay seng kit.. you were the only one!! hahaha!!

had my last game of poker for the year yesterday, turns out it’s fun to play but not helpful for spiritual health.. songs sang during our games include such standards as

amazing ace, how sweet the card
i’m coming back to the game of poker, and it’s all about you
give me money in my pot, give me money money money

will be flying back to melbourne in a few hours time, it’s been a great few weeks back at home. (: thanks for everything boys! (ok so there were some girls there, but they’ll always part of the boys to me)

i’m moving in to a new apartment, so if you guys ever decide to come visit melbourne let me know! i think my carpet will be very comfortable..