July 11, 2008
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after some thinking, i realize why last semester’s studies was so difficult for me; it’s that in spite of all the things i love and enjoy about conducting, i couldn’t accept that it’s ok for people to treat us like crap! even though these precious people are few and far between - critics, musicians, tutors, etc jackasses.
ironically, the friends who are kindest are other conductors who compete with me. i guess they can sympathise.
i’ve been reminded many times that conductors cannot want to be liked, i think i finally understand now. cause regardless of your ability, you will have to face the music (pun). conclusion is, i must learn to savor the position of having people want to oppress us.
so bring it on! but watch your backs after.
