the journey that one takes to be a conductor is so illusive, one really has to be willing to brave the unknown and carve a path of his own. it’s really almost impossible to follow a mould set by another.

was nice to come across old friends from last semester’s conducting class going through the same struggles as well. we can’t all tread the same path, but it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone.

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after a long and tiring session with my conducting tutor in heidelberg, i was walking back to the train station while texting kat, when 2 girls sounded the horn and waved at me from a car at the traffic lights. i looked briefly but couldn’t recognise them, and (for some reason that escapes me i became embarassed and) drifted back to my phone.

didn’t look up again. thought maybe they’d take off and laugh it off a minute later.

the light turned green after a few seconds, they drove off, but waved again looking so genuinely disappointed! i felt TERRIBLE! they must have thought i’m such a jerk! i really shouldn’t be this useless.. if you’re reading this, please let me know who you are!

–

i need to find more interesting things to say. help..

it’s been a rather intense week, learnt a lot from observing the young conductors program with christopher seaman, training with the melbourne symphony orchestra. i almost got an audition but i still needed a PR to enter, so will have to wait a year or two. some interesting things i’ve learnt..

edit: oh look! i’ve tidied up the post by removing the whole chunk! lazy to add, and it’s easier to remove. ta-dah!

it’s interesting to me how all these skills are transferrable to life, with friends and colleagues; about having respect, having an opinion, being genuine and humble, etc. the results of a conductors’ bad behavior on an orchestra are staggering, it’s should be just as bad for us to behave likewise on someone else

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exciting news!

www.orchestrenouveau.org.au

all’s looking good so far

interesting story to share

Gary Bertini tells of his experience with Arthur Rubinstein and the Jerusalem Symphony in Israel during the 1970s. Before a scheduled sound check, Rubinstein (then in his mid-eighties) confessed to always having wanted to try his hand at conducting. It was arranged that he would be given one hour to conduct his favorite piece.

He chose Brahm’s Symphony No. 3. He began and things quickly fell apart; he tried again with no luck. Rubinstein went to the piano and played the opening as he wanted it to sound. He returned to the podium and again a train wreck occurred, at which point Rubinstein put the baton down and smiled, saying “Now I finally understand.” Conducting looks deceptively easy.

Leon Botstein, “The Future of Conducting”. Excerpt from The Cambridge Companion to Conducting.

pride, humility and self worth are such enigmatic concepts..

pride causes us to feel like worms when we’re criticized, even constructively. humility insists that we’re worthless when we’re subject to criticism. if that’s the case, does our self worth comes from our pride in our abilities (pride is bad right?), or should it come from our humility in knowing our true value no matter what people say (is that not pride in disguise?)

(after some thought)

there is perhaps victory in our worthlessness that humility insists on, a humility that truly understands that no man is better than the other; and victory in our confidence (in whatever abilities) that shouldn’t in anyway prove how we are better than others, but which instead results in a humble gratitude that understands how we are all equal in the things that truly matter. a humility which needs to result in love, selflessness and mutual respect.

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i guess we shouldn’t have to be surprised when people are not perfectly selfless, to whatever extent. nobody is perfectly selfless after all. but nonetheless, it’s still depressing how people can make the world such a terrible place to live in.

after 6 long nights.. first morning to wake up without gastric pains! looks like the gastritis’ finally finishing its course!

thanks to the precious people who were concerned.. it’s nice to be remembered.

i put in my best effort this year and got my lowest ever practical mark. fantastic..

so i keep telling people that effort doesn’t necessarily translate into results, have to be proud of what you did. look forward. yada yada. i guess it’s stlil true; i’m not really disappointed or depressed, just extremely frustrated.

a thought i heard today from a friend, and read from a website my dad forwarded me which gave more or less the same message.. “that at the highest level, the best musician isn’t the one that’s most talented, but the one who is willing to put in all the hours to hone his craft.”

always thought of it as a stumbling block for me, because i was always lazy and it always seemed to go well for me anyway. rather ironic that that quote is what motivates me to press on.. but i finally understand why i should practice, and i finally practice because i want to.

but now, unlike ltcl or ftcl, any god-given talent (or lack of) doesn’t contribute much anymore. while i’m really grateful that god’s been gracious enough to push me this far (without much of my input), maybe it’s about time i really claimed responsibility.

i’m sure most of my loved ones have seen this coming, but i guess this isn’t something i could be taught. i’m glad i learnt it on my own, even though i’m a little late

camp was good, it’s rather amazing how much you can gain from learning proverbs =) allow me to present to you, yeemeng the fool:

proverbs 26:14 – as a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed. (me..)
proverbs 22:13 – the sluggard says, “there is a lion outside! i shall be killed in the streets!” (so me..)
proverbs 19:24 – the sluggard buries his hand in the dish and will not even bring it back to his mouth (now you’re just being cruel)

proverbs 26:16 – the sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly
proverbs 3:7 – be not wise in your own eyes; fear the lord, and turn away from evil

hmm. touche, king solomon

such an exciting week it has been!

preparing first movement of tchaikovsky 1st piano concerto for competition in october (audition’s in august, i’m almost halfway through..) it’s huge, 56 pages for the first movement.. 23 minutes long

and building a chamber orchestra for a concert at the end of the year, a little hard to find bassoon, horn and timpani players but on the way there. we’ll be doing mozart piano concerto no.21 in C, not sure who’s the soloist yet but i do have someone in mind. the second half of the concert still undecided.. hopefully we can look beyond this concert, and have it semi-permanent

and had the priviledge of being introduced to richard divall, one of australia’s most respected conductors (he founded opera australia) and he’ll be teaching me over the next semester when he’s at residence here in college

and am preparing beethoven’s appasionata (as a start) for the year end recital

and signed up to audit a conductor’s training course with the melbourne symphony orchestra in august, won’t get to participate cause the deadline’s passed, but i’ll get to observe a professional orchestra under the baton of other humble students

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been so excited and stressed at the same time my body isn’t responding as well as it should.. preparing bible study for ocf camp this weekend. some part of me regrets signing up, but i guess good to remind myself who i’m really serving. so much to do.. been so lethargic lately, muscle’s been so sore (went for a remedial massage at the sports center.. so amazingly helpful) but it’s a terrible feeling to be nauseous almost all the time. we’ll be bringing lots of guitars there to jam and do some recordings, will be good time to bond with friends

very grateful that god’s lit the way for me so clearly, and have his plans for me unfold at this time. can’t wait to see what’s next

“if you don’t get the right sound, you can forget about the feeling.”

milt jackson

just had our electro-acoustic concert today at melba hall. was pleasantly surprised, there was an audience of 20 who were genuinely interested! if you heard the music you’d know what i mean!

click if you wanna have a listen? might have to pump your speakers up a bit for the last part. composed entirely with sound samples of flowing water, entitled hydrophony. enjoy!

http://download.yousendit.com/630D54626258FD92

practical’s on the 13th, conducting on 14th, broadcasting assignment on 15th. bought a whole bunch of books on conducting to keep myself busy, will be spending my first winter in melb. see you friends back home in nov!

Your Learning Style: Unconventional and Insightful

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